Designer Fig Leaves

I grew up poor.

I know a lot of people say that – and to be fair, I don’t really think I was that poor. In fact, growing up, we wore clean clothes, received cool Christmas presents, and always had food on the table (even if that food was beans).

However, if you would have asked me, I would have told you that I was pretty poor. Why? It wasn’t about the quantity of things that I owned – but rather the quality.

My friends were at the mall school shopping and buying Jordan’s while I was across the street at Walmart trying on Shaq’s brand. My friends would get picked up in a brand-new SUV driving directly in front of our little Pontiac that was overheating. My friends would eat steaks and grill out shish kebabs while my family had 1,000 ways to reuse beans (seriously, we ate them ALL THE TIME!).

As an adult, I am not complaining about any of these things. Looking back, I wasn’t poor at all.  I only felt poor when I constantly compared the things that I owned to what other people owned.

Then it happened.

When I arrived home from school one Friday afternoon, my mom told me that she had been to the Goodwill and left some clothes on my bed (we shopped at the Goodwill way before it was cool and acceptable). Thinking nothing of it, I walked into my room – only to see light from heaven shining down on my KOBE BRYANT LAKERS JERSEY!

Amazing! Not only was Kobe my favorite player – but these jerseys were CRAZY expensive! Some of them would costs up to $100-$200 – all for a silly jersey! Not only was this a Kobe Bryant jersey – but it was “real” – which means it had a Nike check in the top left corner (as opposed to a rebok or some other knock of brand… Nike was the only thing my friends cared about).

I was THRILLED. Finally! I would be able to wear this thing proudly and actually fit in! I was beyond excited to wear it to school the following Monday. In fact, who needed to wait until school? I’ll wear it Saturday! Better yet – I’ll wear it to church on Sunday!

Slowly but surely, Sunday morning arrived and I woke up way too early. I put on some blue jeans, my tennis shoes – and my #8 Kobe Bryant jersey. I was so happy to be strutting it around that I didn’t even wear a white t-shirt underneath it! I walked in those church doors with my thirteen-year-old chest puffed out, shaking every person’s hand that was humanly possible.

The morning went as expected: I saw my friends, goofed out and stayed on the border of trouble while in Sunday school, and went upstairs for worship and the sermon.

That entire morning, I felt like the man with the plan. I was all that and a bag of chips! I felt great in my Kobe Bryant jersey -  it totally gave me more confidence!

Then it happened.

I don’t remember the person who said this to me, but I absolutely recall the conversation and the feelings I had afterward. (No, I’m not trying to hide someone’s identity or protecting anyone… I genuinely didn’t even really know this person’s name haha).

On my way out, someone pulled me aside and said, “Kevin, do you agree that we should give God the very best that we have?”

“Yes,” I said, sort of confused and thinking that I was in trouble.

“Look at what you’re wearing. Is that really giving your best to God?”

Speechless.

To this day, especially as a minister, this moment still haunts me.  

Instead of taking time to encourage a 13-year-old kid who woke up early on a Sunday morning and went to church all on his own – the only thing this person saw was, “He isn’t dressed right.”

Not only that, but they worded it in a way that said I wasn’t giving my best to God; however, that was my best! That Kobe Bryant jersey was probably the most expensive thing I owned – and my most prized possession.

Clearly, I had given my “best” – and yet it wasn’t enough. I remember going home and seriously thinking, “Maybe my best isn’t good enough for God.”

What Are Clothes?

There are few conversations that will bring up passion and zeal in me than one of dress code.

What are clothes, anyway? In Genesis, we see clothes first appearing after Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate the fruit He commanded them not to.   

⁶ When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. ⁷ Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.                          -Gen. 3:6-7

So, from the very start, we see that clothes happen to be a ripple effect from our sin: something that we hide behind because we are ashamed of who we are and what we’ve done.

We buy clothes to cover our nakedness.

We buy clothes to cover our shame.

We buy clothes to cover our insecurities.

Fast forward thousands of years later and you will find mankind doing the same thing that Adam and Eve did: hiding behind fashion and finding their identity inside of it.

How Subjective

Have you ever sat and thought about how subjective the topic of fashion is, anyway?!

I mean, who decided when bell bottoms were “in” and when they were “out?” Who made the decision to approve of blue jeans that could be zipped off at the knee and transformed into shorts? Most importantly, what is the final word on whether or not it is acceptable to wear socks with sandals?!

In 1 Samuel 16, we see God telling Samuel to meet a man named Jesse and search among his sons for the new king of Israel. After just seeing Eliab, Samuel was impressed at the man. I imagine that he must have had a nice suit on – with matching cuff links and alligator shoes. It was in verse 6:

⁶ When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.”

However, contrary to Samuel’s thinking, God tells him to completely disregard his appearance! Look at the very next verse:

⁷ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Here we learn a foundational truth about people: the outside doesn’t reflect the inside.

Eliab had everything and looked amazing – and yet God chose David, a younger, weaker, smaller kid who tended sheep. We also know that David goes on to be someone that is known as a man after God’s own heart. Did he look the part? Clearly not. However, his outward appearance had nothing to do with the condition of his heart.

Right to the Heart

As a follower of Jesus, I have seen many people get wrapped up into things that God really doesn’t care much about. We spend so much time focusing on the OUTSIDE of someone’s appearance: their clothes, their smell, their speech, their hair, their tattoos – that we fail to realize that none of it matters.

I have known some of the best people with the biggest hearts for others who look like they just joined a biker gang. I have known some of the rudest, ugliest people who look like they just came from the red carpet!

I think it is crucial that we stop caring so much on outward appearances and start focusing on things that God cares about. Isaiah 1:16-17 says:

Wash yourselves and be clean!
    Get your sins out of my sight.
    Give up your evil ways.
¹⁷ Learn to do good.
    Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
    Defend the cause of orphans.
    Fight for the rights of widows.

Authenticity

There is an old, lovely hymn sung at the church that I work at called, “Just as I am.” The main message in the song is simple: God accepts us exactly how we are and takes all of our baggage that we try to hide. We don't have to change anything - it is God that will change us. For this reason, we made an agreement years ago to stop caring about what people wore and care more about who people are.  

Maybe you are a person who enjoys dressing up and can’t think of anything other than wearing a suit to church; maybe you are a person who (like me) doesn’t own a suit and only wears a shirt because stores won’t let you in if you don’t. Regardless of where you stand on the spectrum: come as you are.

Don’t think less of someone because they don’t dress up – and don’t think down on someone because the dress a bit nicer. We are all human, and we are all struggling and broken in this world. No one person is better than another person – and how silly to think that fig leaves might somehow change that.

My challenge to you, if you are still reading this, is to stop looking into your closet or into your mirror – and to start looking into your heart. There you will find the true reflection of who you really are, and you can allow God to start shaping and molding that person into who He wants them to be.

The Good Ole' Days

“Those were the good ole days.”

Have you ever said that?

Reminiscing with friends and family, it’s easy to look back on past memories and think of them as simple yet marvelous times, in which you recall being somewhat happier and more content then you are with your life right now.

Often times we think, “If only I could go back.” We think about how awesome it would be if we could have a do-over. Some of us wouldn’t even do anything different; simply being there and reliving the moment would be enough for them.

And yet, when you are in those times – it doesn’t seem that way at all. In fact, if I’m honest about my “good ole days,” I spent a lot of time complaining and trying to progress so that I could be out of them.

Let me give you a few examples.

Grade School. For me, when I think back to middle school and high school – I only remember wonderful memories. I think back to times filled with laughter, friendships, dating, and (a ton) of pranking and goofing off. I could tell you a million stories about high school that would leave you on the floor laughing – even if you didn’t know who the characters in the story were. Grade school was full of simplicity: being a kid, having little responsibilities, and hanging out with my friends.

And yet – the entire time I was in grade school – I was constantly focused on getting out of that time frame. I desperately wanted to get older, move up to the next grade, and ultimately graduate so that I could move to college. My entire mindset was defined by the idea that if I could only get to college – THEN I would be having a blast!

College. To be honest, I can’t tell you which was more fun: high school or college. Moving 6 hours away to a place where I was all alone, I met some incredible people and started to sprout roots in a completely different state. I learned a new worldview – very different from my own – and I met some amazing people (a lot of whom I still regularly contact today).

And the memories! Oh, the memories. College was full of friends, fun, laughter, and relationships. In fact, it was at college in which I really learned how to grow close to others and let them truly be a part of my life. My entire experience was priceless – and it has shaped who I am today.

YET – if you were to talk to my while I was IN college, I would’ve told you how focused I was to leave college. I would’ve told you how constantly busy I was – and how I was determined to be finished in 4 years. I would often ditch my friends to work on school work and been annoyed at people around me for selfish reasons. Towards my junior year, my entire mindset was defined by the idea that if I could only graduate and become a youth minister – THEN I would be having a blast!

Dating.

While in college, I met this wonderful woman (who is now my wife) named Maiah Johnson. She was smart, funny, and incredibly beautiful. Thinking back now, I would constantly go out of my way to impress her, make her laugh, and sweep her off her feet with charm and plant little surprises for her. Getting to know her was incredible, and I would never want to change or take back the way that I courted her to be my wife.

BUT – if you were to talk to me during our dating years, I probably would’ve told you how annoying it was to be in a long distant relationship. Seeing as how she was an hour up the road, I would tell you how I hated that we had to be apart, and how driving there and back took a huge toll on both of us on a regular basis. I’m sure I would’ve complained about other stuff as well, because my entire mindset was defined by the idea that if I could only get married – THEN I would be having a blast!  

Youth Ministry – North Carolina.

My first, REAL experience being a full time youth minister was probably the funniest thing ever. Looking back, I had no real idea what I was doing; I was winging it a lot, but somehow it was working. I was at a church that loved me, and I had a mentor (Glenn Brickhouse) who had my back and often was a guard to help me from going in the gutter. I learned a lot about people, love, youth ministry and the church. I built incredible friendships and relationships – and I got to be a part of student’s lives who I believe are going to change the world.

HOWEVER – if you would’ve talked to me then, I’m sure I would have had a number of complaints. Where to start? It was in the country, and I was a city boy. They had a dress code (what?! I have to wear something other than sandals?!). I felt like I was working all the time. A handful of people didn’t like me. Towards the end of my time there (after I had announced my resignation), I once again developed the mindset that if I could only get to Edgewood – THEN I would REALLY be having a blast!

Today.

Currently, I am youth minister at Edgewood Christian Church, and I work with/oversee around 20 youth sponsors who are involved in the lives of around 20-30 kids per week. The church has done nothing but grow since we have arrived, and it is full of genuine people who care for one another.

Every single week I get to do incredible things:

·      Make my own office hours/work schedule

·      Decide if I want to work at the church building, a Starbucks, or my back porch.

·      Eat food with teenagers and catch up with their lives

·      Drink coffee with people and check up on them spiritually

·      Lead bible studies full of friends, fun and laughter

·      Oversee our vision and purpose, and intentionally see that it comes to life

This week we planned a Back 2 School Bash which included paintball, a cookout, and a waterslide. How is this considered work?!

I say all that because tonight I needed to remind myself something: I am living in the good ole days right now.

If I could take it one step further – Every day you live is a “good ole day.”

Every single day that we live is a gift from God. The memories you make IN THAT DAY will be locked in your head – and years from now you will look back on them, reminisce and smile. You will miss that moment, and wish that you were able to return to it and live it out again.

That being said, why do we treat these good ole days like they are nothing special? If anything, we tend to complain and let our negative attitude sour everything we experience. We stress ourselves out and constantly talk about how busy we are. Often times we think, “If only I could make it to ____________, then I’ll be having a blast!

 We become so focused on either the past or the future that we fail to stop and see that the best time of our life is happening right now.

Maybe this is why God’s word is constantly reminding us to stop, slow down, and enjoy the life we are living TODAY.

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. - Matthew 6:34

What if you were to realize that this very day – this very hour in which you are living and breathing is a gift from God? What if you were to realize that this precious time (that seems to be slipping away from us faster and faster) is only around once?!

How would that change the way you live? How would that change your outlook on life?

The reality is that God has given you another chance to “relive the good ole days” by simply allowing you to wake up and make one more “good ole day.”

What are you going to do about it?   

So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. ¹³ And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. - Ecc. 3:12-13