Mourn With Those Who Mourn

Crying sucks.

Doesn’t it? I mean, honestly – who in the world enjoys making ugly faces with wet eyes while green mucus runs from your nose onto you upper lip the way syrup does when you try to close the cap but a little leaks out? I don’t.

I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m not much of an emotional guy. I don’t know why – it’s not intentional. I don’t purposely enjoy not being able to cry when everyone else around me is. I’ve just always held my emotions together. It takes a lot to get me to look like a weepin willow.

And if you’re anything like me, maybe Romans 12:15 confuses you as well.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

I’m pretty good at being happy with people that are happy, but mourning with people? What does that even mean? How in the world can I make myself mourn when I don’t have a single emotion in me that cries? Do I fake it? Maybe they’re not talking about crying; maybe I should just tell them I’m sorry? Do I use cliché statements and make myself seem sad?

When I was younger, I had a great friend and mentor, Scott Harlow, explain this to me. We were sitting in Wednesday Night Bible Study when a girl in our class had a prayer request for her fish that had died that day. Right when she said it, of course I laughed (keep in mind, this is third grade). I even made a snarky comment like, “dude, it’s a fish, who cares? Its funny.”

On the spot, Scott pulled me aside and told me that I needed to be more sympathetic. He explained to me how a situation like that can really upset someone, and that the Bible says we need to mourn with those who mourn.

It’s one of those weird childhood moments that you never really forget. All the details are still clear in my mind – including the confusion that I took away from the whole thing. “Mourn with people who mourn?” I thought, “What?”

And throughout the years, the thought never left the back of my mind. What does it mean to mourn with those who mourn? It was such a simple concept – but to me – such an impractical idea. It baffled me.

Fast forward years later, and it seems that God has shown me the answer to my question without even having me realize it. The answer is rather simple: “allow people in.”

You see, before Jesus left, he commanded us to make disciples. Making disciples is a process in which you allow someone to be in your life; you invite someone to observe first hand what it is like to follow Jesus every single day. You “allow them in.”

And if you do it right – if you do it the way Jesus wants you to – then you develop a bond that goes much deeper than mere friendship. If you are praying for this person on a regular basis, hanging out with this person on a regular basis, loving this person on a regular basis – they will eventually become close to your heart. Their happiness will leak over into your happiness! Their laughter, achievements, promotions, weddings, children – everything that brings them joy will bring you joy as well!

But on the flip side – their sadness will be your sadness. Their gloom will be your gloom.  Their trouble will become your trouble. You will experience those tears and that heartache right along beside them – all because you chose to allow them in. When they are hurting because of pain, death, sin, evil doers – you will feel it just as much as that – whether you want to or not.

And so tonight, I am mourning with those who mourn. I am feeling that heartache and pain and worry that my friends, Matthew and Rebekah, are experiencing as they await the surgery of their newborn baby. My heart is heavy and it’s hard for me to truly be excited about anything as long as they are in this situation. I’m shedding tears on my face at a coffee shop right now as I write this, and they are 100 percent genuine. Man, it’s tough.

And yet, probably the best part about Romans 12:15 is that by mourning with those who mourn, we help make that burden a little less heavy. It’s not that we can make anything better or magically fix it all – but we can help each other get through these tough times – together.

To Matthew and Rebekah – I have done nothing but pray for you and your son. I have been praying on a regular basis – and I have 100 percent faith that every thing will go well tomorrow. We serve a mighty God – and He listens to us when we cry out to Him. Have peace in knowing that I have called out to Him for you, and I know plenty of others that have done the same.

If you’re reading this, I’d like to challenge you to let someone in your life. Allow them to get into parts that no one else sees. Allow them to see those frustrations, heartaches, and painful parts. Show them who Jesus is in everything you do – and learn to love them on a regular basis. That’s what discipleship is all about.

Also, I’d like to ask for your prayers for Liam. He has surgery tomorrow morning around 6 AM. I know his parents would very much appreciate it, as would I.

I may be a weeping willow tonight, but I wouldn’t trade these friends for anything in the world. Allowing people in is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Crying sucks. But crying together isn’t so bad.